A Trans Woman's Recovery from Sex, Alcohol and Drug Addiction

• Oct 13, 2026
• Fitness Trading
• By Maya Lin-Takahashi
• 6 min read

Key Takeaways

I’m Perched Awkwardly at the Foot of My Bed, Illuminated by the Glow of My Laptop and a Lava Lamp in the Far Corner of My Bedroom. I’m Logged into My Favourite Website, the One I Spend Every Night with Now, Just Like a Friend or a Comfort Blanket. I Fire off Another Message to the Guy Who Said He’d Arrive by 10.30Pm. He’s Online, but 40 Minutes Late. I Have No Idea Where He Is. He Knows to Message Me When He’s Outside - I Don’t Want Him to Ring the Doorbell and Disturb My Housemates. I’ll Have to Sneak Him Inside and Pretend He’s a Friend If Anyone Catches Us Half-Way up the Stairs, Even Though I Don’t Know His Name. Hopefully He Doesn’t Bring Any Beers or Wine – He Doesn’t Know I’m a Recovering Alcoholic Yet.

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Over the next few years, I began nurturing a healthier relationship with myself by establishing clear boundaries in all of my relationships. I drew a line under my risky behaviour and for the first time in my life gave myself the opportunity to heal. I looked beyond the stream of unavailable men for esteem, and started helping others who were new into the SLAA programme. I created a community around me which I valued and I no longer spent vast amounts of time alone being unproductive. I elevated my self-worth by realising I was a person who deserved better. I looked at my pain straight on and walked into it instead of around it. Testament to this programme of growth, I was able to meet a man who became my partner for six years. An accomplishment that would never have happened if I’d continued to allow my trauma to consume me.

Today I’m clean from all my addictions and I manage my life without the necessity to lose myself like I did it the past. Finally, I feel free.

‘Help! I’m Addicted; A Trans Girls Self-Discovery and Recovery’ by Rhyannon Styles is out now.